I like bacon.
I like it in strips, beside my eggs. Sometimes on an english muffin with some cheese and eggs. I like it chopped up in my salad. I like it on a cheeseburger.
I even like using the grease from bacon to make popcorn. (Seriously, if you haven’t done this, you should.)
But I especially like the taste of a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich. It’s hard to top that.
Now not everyone appreciates bacon. Muslims for example. According to the Koran, bacon is bad:
He hath only forbidden you dead meat, and blood, and the flesh of swine, and that on which any other name hath been invoked besides that of Allah.
I can respect that. They don’t need to eat it.
But how do they get away with violating my right to a delicious bacon sandwich by refusing to make one for me in their delis? None of the Muslim delis I have been to have ever prepared a BLT for me, despite my right to bacon.*
Yeah, you read that right. I have a right to bacon.
See, a right isn’t something given to you by government, or something detailed in the Constitution. You are born with rights and no entity can deny you the free exercise of them.
The government has only one role where rights are concerned, as detailed in the Declaration of Independence:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed…
If there is anyone who questions my right to bacon, let me redirect you to the part that reads “pursuit of happiness.”
The government has a Constitutional obligation to secure my rights. In other words, when something threatens or limits my rights, government is there to issue the limiter a Liam Neesom level throat chop.
And having established my right to bacon, Muslim deli owners have no right to deny me access to a delicious bacon sandwich just because their holy book tells them not to eat it.
They have no right to force their religious beliefs on me. The federal government has a Constitutional obligation to secure my right to bacon, and I think the best way to do this is for Congress to pass a law mandating all restaurants to serve bacon.
I have come to this conclusion using the logic displayed by liberals in the last few months. According to regulations handed down by Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius, Americans have a right to contraception, so all insurance providers must provide it without a copay. This means that any religious organization with religious objections to the use of contraception is mandated by force to violate their beliefs and comply with the law.
Apples and oranges, you say? I can’t compare a woman’s health care rights to my love of bacon.
Oh yes I can. See, rights are rights. There is no hierarchy. You don’t say, “Well, this right is more important than that right, so this right takes priority.”
For example, I have a right to life. You have a right to property. If I have a life ending illness, and you have the cure, my right to life does not trump your right to property. Therefore, I cannot steal the cure nor can the government force you to turn it over.
As Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes said, “The right to swing my fist ends where the other man’s nose begins.” In other words, you should not be able to take action that openly violates the rights of another. This is especially true where the government is concerned.
But according to liberals, a woman’s right to care-free sex takes precedent over a Catholic’s freedom of religion.
Well, a woman’s right to worry-free sex doesn’t have more importance than my right to a bacon sandwich. By using the logic of a liberal, it’s acceptable for government to force a Muslim deli owner to violate his religious convictions so I can eat crispy, salty meat candy on wheat toast.
But some women need birth control pills for medical reasons, you say. Well, bacon has medicinal properties also. You can even use it like a nasal pork tampon.
And if the federal government has the power to force Catholics “to provide insurance for free sterilizations, abortion-inducing drugs, and artificial contraceptives” because women have a right to it, than they can force Muslim deli owners to order some thick cut maple syrup flavored cured pork belly. And a 40 of OE.
Absurd?
No, what’s absurd is this debate. What’s absurd is the fact that people are testifying before the Congress of the most powerful country in the world about how expensive it is for women to have sex without the risk of pregnancy when we are teetering on the edge of complete economic collapse. What’s absurd is how overt the collusion is between the main stream media and the Democrat party to switch the focus from the state of America’s economy to smearing the Republican party as being misogynist, so Obama can win back the woman voters who have been leaving him.
What’s absurd is the idea of using force to compel a private company to provide a service to a private individual while forcing an organization to violate its religious beliefs.
What’s absurd is the idea of a woman freely choosing to work for the Catholic church, but then liberals claiming the church is forcing its beliefs on her. No one forced her to accept a position with the church, just like no one forces anyone to shop in a store that doesn’t sell bacon.
By the same logic, a customer of a Muslim deli can say the owner is forcing their beliefs on them by denying bacon. It’s the same thing.
This whole controversy is the result of a cascading series of government intrusions into areas it doesn’t belong. If there was no government role in mandating what insurance companies my provide coverage for, the free market would encourage providers to create packages that customers could select from, based on their needs, not what the moral busybodies in the capitol think they need.
If there were no federal role in tying health insurance to employment, employees could shop for whatever heath care plan they wanted in the free market, much like they do home owners and car insurance.
The government made this mess by continually sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong, looking at the mess they created and then passing more legislation to clean it up. This only results in more unintended consequences and increased government power in our lives.
If liberals really want to protect a woman’s health care rights, they would limit government’s role in our lives, but that’s antithetical to everything a liberal believes. In the mind of a liberal, we are better off when the government uses force to make us comply against our wishes.
It’s for the greater good.
*I’ve actually never been to a Muslim deli. I know there are some Muslim owned stores that don’t sell items prohibited by the Koran though. If I ever do visit one, I’m cool with not getting a bacon sandwich. It’s their business and I can go to the Waffle House.
Given who I am, I am all for promoting more bacon consumption!
Bacon has what to do with health insurance, besides wishing you had some health insurance when you eat a lot of bacon and your arteries get clogged?
Did you read the article? I made it very clear.
This is the second time today that I have seen someone commenting on an article that they obviously had not read. Please be reasonable and at least read the initial text before expecting others to read your own text. That way we don’t have to say everything twice.
dense much?
This is a very thought-provoking article. I wish there were more people in the United States who thought things through like you did instead of continuously applying the same fixes everywhere they go (more & more government & regulations).
Thank you very much. That’s one of the kindest things you can tell a writer.
Duane Lester, I love this! I read your post on my radio show today. This was awsome!!!!
Thanks, Jaz. I’m glad you liked it and stoked you read it on the air!
Posted it on my website and my FB page too. Keep it up brother.
Here is another good one that you can use:
Little Jimmy attends BYU (Bringham Young University,) a Mormon college.
Little Jimmy likes to have a recreational drink or 2 occasionally.
He’d like BYU to pick up the tab for his beers–he can’t always afford
them, and he figures that it might run him $3000 over the course of his
education to have all of the beer he’d like.
So, he’s going to go to
the media tomorrow and demand that the University pay for his beer. Then
he’s going to congress to demand it. It’s his right to drink
recreationally, you know.
Never mind that drinking is forbidden by the Mormon church and by the
University that HE chose to go to. It’s his right.
Now, how is that different from Fluke wanting her birth control pills
paid for by a Catholic university that is opposed to birth control and
recreational sex?
And alcohol is actually addressed in the Constitution – unlike contraception.
…
test
But wait, what you said is logical. That flies in the face of the rhetoric the MSM is throwing around.
I must admit it will take me a couple of more readings to absorbe what I read but it made me think and I did undestand much of what I was taking in thank you and thanks for writing a simple and humorous article on a subject that can be very muddied.
[...] I Have a Right to A Bacon Sandwich in a Muslim Deli [...]
Mmmmmmmm, bacon !!!
When the Left is attempting to take liberty from me (and “us”), I now apply the “How would this go if you tried to do xxxxxx to a Muslim group”
The hypocrisy-O-meter pegs out every time !!!
But yet the dumbass Republicans continue to act out scenes from your favorite Three Stooges movie….beating each other over the head…instead of talking about things like this, in a simple and concise manner.
The Leftists want me out out of their bedroom…Okay, I will gladly stay out of your bedroom. Just don’t ask me to pay for any of your “pleasure”….that includes straights, lesbians and gay men….sorry sport…we know homosexual unprotected sex can lead to bad things….pretty soon gay bath houses in San Francisco will insist on federally sponsored condom machines in their establishments.
The whole argument is stupid. The Catholic church already provides a free contraceptive to anyone that want it. It is called abstinence. Since there has only ever been one recorded failure, it would need to be listed as the most effective one ever known. If they want to use a less effective brand than they should pay for it.
Awesome, and totally true. Reposted at my site with full creds.
I bow before your wise intellect. And I also like bacon.
Dude – someone should testify before congress and just read this – let’s call it the “American’s Right for Bacon Act”
[...] Posted by BestViewedWithCable I Have a Right to A Bacon Sandwich in a Muslim Deli The government has a Constitutional obligation to secure my rights. In other words, when [...]
Sure you have the right to be served bacon sandiwich in a Muslim deli. The question is whether you want to eat what they serve you. Remember that in UK Muslim bakers mixed human excrement in the cake they served the kafirs. Maybe it is safer not to eat anything touched by Muslims.
[...] I Have a Right to A Bacon Sandwich in a Muslim Deli….. I Have a Right to A Bacon Sandwich in a Muslim Deli | All American Blogger [...]
Your logic is impeccable.
Bacon,
Is there anything it can’t do?
Forget buying bacon sandwiches in a Muslim deli. If we’re being consistent about this issue then we should get bacon sandwiches for FREE, whenever we want.
NO BACON, NO PEACE!
Mmmmm… Had Bacon for breakfast this morning…
Oh, also had it Sunday Morning…
I Have a Right to A Bacon Sandwich in a Muslim Deli for FREE
So do you
In fact, the secretary of some department in the federal government
shall issue an edict, mandating all restaurants to serve bacon FOR FREE
regardless of their religious beliefs. ’cause it’s our RIGHT. Right?
…and if it’s FREE then we don’t have to buy it, just pay for it, so it’s a good compromise.
Obama-Democrat liberal logic says so.
This is quite possibly the most unintelligent and uninformed argument I have ever seen. I’ll allow Jon Stewart to dismantle this argument in a short clip: http://www.thedailyshow.com/full-episodes/mon-february-20-2012-alan-huffman-and-michael-rejebian?userClipStartTime=326.06&userClipEndTime=415.41&startIndex=0
[...] Unalienable. What part of “shall not be abridged” don’t you understand, anyway? Yeah, you read that right. I have a right to bacon. [...]
It’s even worse than that. A deli is a place of public accommodation. They cannot refuse you service!
Just like insurance companies are soon to become – forced to take people with preexisting conditions.
[...] Posted by BestViewedWithCable I Have a Right to A Bacon Sandwich in a Muslim Deli The government has a Constitutional obligation to secure my rights. In other words, when [...]
I’m only guessing your stance on abortion and gay marriage, but how is your position about the government being in the people’s business consistent with the rest of the platform?
Logic, look it up in the dictionary. It doesn’t mean what you think it means.
1. Birth control is prescription medication. Bacon is not.
2. Nobody is asking religious organizations to sell birth control.
3. The same Muslim deli you’re talking about (hypothetical as it is) would also have to provide birth control through health insurance to its permanent employees and would also dislike that. But, hey, you don’t hear them complaining!
4. Denying birth control to employees of religious organizations would be like the Muslim deli denying their employees the right to buy bacon elsewhere. Which, GASP, it doesn’t. Because it’s none of the deli’s business where its employees spend their money. Just like it’s none of your fucking business where I spend my health insurance.
1. Birth control is prescription medication. Bacon is not.
A. So?
2. Nobody is asking religious organizations to sell birth control.
A. Interestingly, they started with that, until they got slapped down. Regardless: if I don’t require you to sell drugs to your kids, but I demand that your house be available to me to PROVIDE your kids drugs, do you think you could find your meek voice then?
3. The same Muslim deli you’re talking about (hypothetical as it is) would also have to provide birth control through health insurance to its permanent employees and would also dislike that. But, hey, you don’t hear them complaining!
A. Interesting. The shred of remaining logic somewhere deep inside your skull clearly forces you to acknowledge that the Muslim deli wouldn’t LIKE to be forced to provide birth control to their employees, but you remain secure in your fugue of indifference to the clear violation of religious rights simply because you claim to not HEAR them?
Perhaps you’re not LISTENING:
http://www.altmuslimah.com/a/b/b/4601/
4. Denying birth control to employees of religious organizations would be like the Muslim deli denying their employees the right to buy bacon elsewhere. Which, GASP, it doesn’t. Because it’s none of the deli’s business where its employees spend their money. Just like it’s none of your fucking business where I spend my health insurance.
A. What an addled statement. It isn’t analogous to claim that denying BC to employees of religious organizations would be like the Muslim deli denying their employees the right to buy bacon elsewhere; it would be like denying the Muslim employees the right to get bacon from their Muslim employers! This is about opposing those who wish to force a religious organization to acquiesce to providing a service with which they vehemently disagree on their own property!
@8ba499322130cbd298a7f3ce2be4836c:disqus
And I’m certainly glad that you understand it’s none of our fucking business where you spend your health insurance. Now you only have to realize that it’s none of your fucking business what a private entity chooses to offer its constituents; you have no say – nor should you.
But you’re a liberal; you won’t realize that. Privacy and other rights like religious expression and decision-making autonomy only seem to hold sway with you if you AGREE with them.
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there ARE other views.” -William F. Buckley
I very much enjoyed reading this. However, the people that née to get it won’t because they are to self-absorbed to concede that they have absurd rationalizations that “prove” their points.
Thank you for writing this, it made me laugh.
Ha! A.W.E.S.O.M.E.
Yes, but when the Muslim deli decides to close its doors rather than violate the laws of the koran, the government won’t have to take it over and run it on the public dime. When the Catholic Church closes its hospitals, the Feds will “have to” take them over to run the hospitals directly. Don’t think this isn’t part of the plan.
Yes, but when the Muslim deli decides to close its doors rather than violate the laws of the koran, the government won’t have to take it over and run it on the public dime. When the Catholic Church closes its hospitals, the Feds will “have to” take them over to run the hospitals directly. Don’t think this isn’t part of the plan.
[...] have a Right to bacon None of the Muslim delis I have been to have ever prepared a BLT for me, despite my right to [...]
Probably the most idiotic thing i have read in a while.
Well done sir, you have made my day with your stupidity
Private business owners have a right to offer whatever products they want via their business, regardless of religion or their customers. I don’t hear you complaining that Vegan restaurants don’t offer bacon, why make it about Muslims? There are plenty of other establishments which do not serve meat, as is their right. You have the right not to patronize an establishment if they don’t offer services or producs you like, end of story.
[...] links on this one. All American Blogger, and Grandpa [...]
[...] of a religion and forces people of faith to violate their beliefs. (I defy this administration to try that with Muslims.) This was tried before with Americans by a guy named King George. It didn’t go so well for [...]