Well, I’m glad we have this cleared up:

“No evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found,” the NOAA said in a statement. (Is “aquatic humanoids” the politically correct term?)

This unusual release comes in response to the television show “Mermaids: The Body Found” on Animal Planet. The show itself is a work of fiction, but confused viewers have apparently been questioning the NOAA to put the matter to rest.

Discovery News reported on the Animal Planet show (both branches of the Discovery Channel corporation) calling it a “documentery-style” show. They write: “Though the filmmakers acknowledged that the film is science fiction, for many people it was indeed ‘wildly convincing.’

First, after reading that, I feel this is necessary:

And second, to any followers of Islam who may be reading, remember, if you do somehow catch one of these mythical creatures, you can eat it.