I like bacon.

I like it in strips, beside my eggs.  Sometimes on an english muffin with some cheese and eggs.  I like it chopped up in my salad. I like it on a cheeseburger.

I even like using the grease from bacon to make popcorn. (Seriously, if you haven’t done this, you should.)

But I especially like the taste of a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich. It’s hard to top that.

Now not everyone appreciates bacon. Muslims for example. According to the Koran, bacon is bad:

He hath only forbidden you dead meat, and blood, and the flesh of swine, and that on which any other name hath been invoked besides that of Allah.

I can respect that. They don’t need to eat it.

But how do they get away with violating my right to a delicious bacon sandwich by refusing to make one for me in their delis? None of the Muslim delis I have been to have ever prepared a BLT for me, despite my right to bacon.*

Yeah, you read that right. I have a right to bacon.

See, a right isn’t something given to you by government, or something detailed in the Constitution. You are born with rights and no entity can deny you the free exercise of them.

The government has only one role where rights are concerned, as detailed in the Declaration of Independence:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed…

If there is anyone who questions my right to bacon, let me redirect you to the part that reads “pursuit of happiness.”

The government has a Constitutional obligation to secure my rights. In other words, when something threatens or limits my rights, government is there to issue the limiter a Liam Neesom level throat chop.

And having established my right to bacon, Muslim deli owners have no right to deny me access to a delicious bacon sandwich just because their holy book tells them not to eat it.

They have no right to force their religious beliefs on me. The federal government has a Constitutional obligation to secure my right to bacon, and I think the best way to do this is for Congress to pass a law mandating all restaurants to serve bacon.

I have come to this conclusion using the logic displayed by liberals in the last few months. According to regulations handed down by Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius, Americans have a right to contraception, so all insurance providers must provide it without a copay. This means that any religious organization with religious objections to the use of contraception is mandated by force to violate their beliefs and comply with the law.

Apples and oranges, you say? I can’t compare a woman’s health care rights to my love of bacon.

Oh yes I can. See, rights are rights. There is no hierarchy. You don’t say, “Well, this right is more important than that right, so this right takes priority.”

For example, I have a right to life. You have a right to property.  If I have a life ending illness, and you have the cure, my right to life does not trump your right to property. Therefore, I cannot steal the cure nor can the government force you to turn it over.

As Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes said, “The right to swing my fist ends where the other man’s nose begins.” In other words, you should not be able to take action that openly violates the rights of another. This is especially true where the government is concerned.

[pull]By using the logic of a liberal, it’s acceptable for government to force a Muslim deli owner to violate his religious convictions so I can eat crispy, salty meat candy on wheat toast[/pull]

But according to liberals, a woman’s right to care-free sex takes precedent over a Catholic’s freedom of religion.

Well, a woman’s right to worry-free sex doesn’t have more importance than my right to a bacon sandwich.  By using the logic of a liberal, it’s acceptable for government to force a Muslim deli owner to violate his religious convictions so I can eat crispy, salty meat candy on wheat toast.

But some women need birth control pills for medical reasons, you say. Well, bacon has medicinal properties also. You can even use it like a nasal pork tampon.

And if the federal government has the power to force Catholics “to provide insurance for free sterilizations, abortion-inducing drugs, and artificial contraceptives” because women have a right to it, than they can force Muslim deli owners to order some thick cut maple syrup flavored cured pork belly. And a 40 of OE.

Absurd?

No, what’s absurd is this debate. What’s absurd is the fact that people are testifying before the Congress of the most powerful country in the world about how expensive it is for women to have sex without the risk of pregnancy when we are teetering on the edge of complete economic collapse. What’s absurd is how overt the collusion is between the main stream media and the Democrat party to switch the focus from the state of America’s economy to smearing the Republican party as being misogynist, so Obama can win back the woman voters who have been leaving him.

What’s absurd is the idea of using force to compel a private company to provide a service to a private individual while forcing an organization to violate its religious beliefs.

What’s absurd is the idea of a woman freely choosing to work for the Catholic church, but then liberals claiming the church is forcing its beliefs on her. No one forced her to accept a position with the church, just like no one forces anyone to shop in a store that doesn’t sell bacon.

By the same logic, a customer of a Muslim deli can say the owner is forcing their beliefs on them by denying bacon. It’s the same thing.

This whole controversy is the result of a cascading series of government intrusions into areas it doesn’t belong.  If there was no government role in mandating what insurance companies my provide coverage for, the free market would encourage providers to create packages that customers could select from, based on their needs, not what the moral busybodies in the capitol think they need.

If there were no federal role in tying health insurance to employment, employees could shop for whatever heath care plan they wanted in the free market, much like they do home owners and car insurance.

The government made this mess by continually sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong, looking at the mess they created and then passing more legislation to clean it up.  This only results in more unintended consequences and increased government power in our lives.

If liberals really want to protect a woman’s health care rights, they would limit government’s role in our lives, but that’s antithetical to everything a liberal believes.   In the mind of a liberal, we are better off when the government uses force to make us comply against our wishes.

It’s for the greater good.

*I’ve actually never been to a Muslim deli.  I know there are some Muslim owned stores that don’t sell items prohibited by the Koran though.  If I ever do visit one, I’m cool with not getting a bacon sandwich.  It’s their business and I can go to the Waffle House.